Now let's talk about this paradox that came up to my mind.
I know that I am not a sociable person, being discret in life may be seen as a quality, but the truth is that having a social life not only makes you happier, more resistant to failures and depression, and also necessary in one's career. Several months ago, opening up to the others seemed very important to me, and I made an effort to do it. I didn't do that because I believed it would boost my career, but I was sure that it would make me feel better in life, and I thought I would appreciate exchanging, talking and sharing ideas with different people.
With that belief, I tried changing my behaviours, my habits, since my comfort zone was to be concentrated at work, being alone, do my own thing. For months, I was kind of forcing myself to do something that I wasn't comfortable with. I was trying to change myself, getting out of my comfort zone, and face this part of my personality that appeared to handicap me.
I thought I would one day become another person, become more sociable and less distant. However, after around 4 months of trial, I failed, I failed to make that change, I failed to get used to my new self. The fact was that, I was still the same person, and no matter how hard I try, I still had the feeling that I was forcing myself to do something that I didn't like.
Then I thought, maybe it's better just to be honest with yourself: you are not that kind of person, that's not you. Maybe just stay true to yourself, and be yourself.
By doing this, we have to accept all the inconvenience and disadvantages that would come along. The thing is, when we're conscious of this, we have the ability to change it. Then are we not trying our best? When we are able to make a change and just ignore it because we want to stay true to ourselves?
That's the paradox that I am facing now. Should we keep trying to make ourselves a better person each day and at some point forget who we really are? Or just be who we really are and feel frustrated by not willing to make a difference?