Two weeks ago, even though I couldn't participate in this year's Concours de Promotion, I still watched it from the audience. We learn a lot watching from a spectator's point of view. Those were two cruel days. Indeed, it was not so easy for me neither. I could feel the pressure, the disappointment but also occasionally the joy to be promoted and/or to dance alone on that stage. Since that day, I have been reading quite a lot, mostly books about personal development. I am more than satisfied about my life now, I cannot deny that. But somehow it doesn't feel as blooming as it used to be. I needed time for myself to look back on the past few years and think, what's going wrong? I am very lucky to have met a very nice person who was eager to guide me through this self-reflection process. We had nice long talks at some of the most relaxing places in Paris. What I found out is that, for years, I was living upon other people's expectations, I was scared of what others may think before doing each single thing, that I lacked in long-term goals and self-confidence, and that what I was doing would take me no where. It was quite a revelation. For a very long time I worked very hard without being conscious of al these. I really needed to stop, take a step back, admit all these things and be extremely honest with myself. By saying yes to everyone and everything, I said no to some of the most important things in my life. Now, I have to learn to be brave, brave enough to change. I am the master of my life, I am responsible for its future. I have to learn to stop thinking too much about every single thing and to focus on my ONE thing, my goals, and the most important aspects of my life. I am very grateful for this person who has accompanied me in this self-reflection process. I really hope that I can make a change now, while it's not yet too late.
2 Comments
Phee
16/3/2018 01:12:36 pm
Seems like you experienced "quarter life crisis" earlier than your age! Many of these are natural as when you enter the 20s, your time gets "stretched" and the time required for big progresses becomes longer by default; serendipitous moments no longer appear so frequently as in teenage years.
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Roger
17/3/2018 10:53:54 pm
Chun,
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