La Dame aux Camélias is one of my favorite ballets. I remember watching my idol Agnes Letestu’s farewell show in it, with my favorite composer’s music - Chopin. Its story is especially touching. The emotions in this ballet are so intense.
We started rehearsing for La Dame aux Camélias first because it is a very difficult ballet. Even for the Corps de ballet, the partnering that we have to do behind the principals is challenging, and partnering takes time to master. I was very happy to see myself on the casting list. It is a good opportunity for me to improve my partnering skills. I will be able to learn so much from this challenge.
After the Varna competition, I spent two weeks in Paris with my family in Paris. Like every time, it is more and more difficult to leave them again. From the first day when I just said « GoodBye » to them and turned my back to walk into the « Departure » area at the Hong Kong International Airport, to now when it is so so painful to see them leave me……..
Before I feel rested enough, the rehearsals started already. Last week’s rehearsals were very tough. Once again God challenged my motivation and my willpower. But we always learn a lesson from challenges don’t we?
I just realised now the title of this post is « Emotions, on the spur of the moment ». Last week I experienced how the the emotional-self doesn’t follow the rational-self.
My rational-self was very wise and positive. He was able to analyse situations rationally, and to find solutions to solve problems. Meanwhile, me, myself, that is my rational-self and emotional-self combined, was far from being positive. I had a strong feeling that I wanted to give up, to abandon, to escape from reality. There I realised, that our emotional-self has a say in what we think. I had always been a very rational person, and I never had the feeling that I couldn’t control my emotions. But somehow when the emotional-self gets stronger than the rational-self, it covers all what the rational-self knows, and you get all emotional and you are ready to make unreasonable and ridiculous decisions.
In this situation, I guess the best way to get out of it is to let the emotional-self speak, he has so much to express, let he do it, let time pass by, the rational-self will eventually come back, and for me, he is often right.